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Read This Post Or Your Penis Will Explode, And If You Don’t Have A Penis, Your Boyfriends Penis Will Explode And If You Don’t Have A Boyfriend, Then…

Okay, so I kinda totally fibbed. Nothing is totally going to explode or blow up, and some day maybe you will find true love. Or you’ll get drunk at a party forget to bring a condom, get knocked up, have a littler of future convict runts and live out your days with Marlboro cigarettes, Natty Light and a house with wheels. But fuck I’m not that optimistic.

So, I’ve been incredibly busy lately between work, and finishing the first draft of my novel (Hurray!). But I found a couple little things on the interwebs that I felt the need to share.

1. The Broad Street Zombies

So, apparently director and crazy creepy musician guy Rob Zombie is attached to directing a film about The Broad Street Bullies or the Philadelphia Flyers and how they went from being a basement team to a professional team of hockey goons (whom I adore). This suprisingly sounds awesome and seems to fit. Zombie already has the aesthetic feel of the 70′s done, and the brute violence of 1970′s hockey fits with the visceral gore of Zombie. Pairing this with the strange and quirky personalities of the 70′s Flyers, like the shoe leather sniffing Parent and the toothless Clarke, this may be a really interesting film.

http://www.deadline.com/2012/06/rob-zombie-targets-philadelphia-flyers-hockey-team-for-feature-broad-street-bullies/

2.Cum On Picasso!

This is a video of a young Mexican-American graffitti artist defacing an ORIGINAL Pablo Picasso painting in Houston, TX with the image of a bullfighter and the words Conquista. So far, I can’t decide if this is a metaphor that art is always evolving and changing and that perhaps we focus to much on the art of the past instead of the present, or if this is a chaotic punk sentiment I can indetify with or if this guys is just a dick for defacing the art of a painter I respect. What can I say? I’m a conflicted guy.

3. 15 Year Old Kid Kicks Cancer In The Nuts

This isn’t some fancy schmancy fake bullshit inspiring chain letter about a young child beating cancer. This is a video of a 15 year old highschool student who patented a tube of dense paper fiber that somehow detects cancer faster and more accurately than anything scientists have been able to come up with in the last 30 years. And it costs like 5 bucks. Seriously. Not to mention the way this kid accepts his science award may in my own mind trump the awesomeness of his accomplishment. It’s adorable. You’re awesome kid!

4. Batman Is A Silly Goose

Just a video of Batman exposing his cover. Nothing to see here. Nothing to see here. Except hilarity. God I hate myself. Sob.

http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6781885<div style=”padding:5px 0; text-align:center; width:600px;”> <p><a href=”http://www.collegehumor.com/videos/most-viewed/this-year”>CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos</a></p></div>

5. GET OUT OF MY HEAD CATCHY TUNE!

This is a completely idiotic poorly written song with a catchy hook sung by a shy not so confident girl singing about a guy with ripped jeans, and this is that same song performed by her, The Roots and Jimmy Fallon. Awesome factor X 2

This is that same song that makes me want to thump my head against my desk but choreographed by The Harvard Baseball team. Awesome factor X5

6. The First Rule of Smash Bros is….

This is a well done video of the movie Fight Club (spoilers!) acted out by Super Smash Brother characters. Nerd boner engage to warp drive.

 

About freddiecomedy

An aspiring comedian and writer from Philadelphia, now living in NYC. Crude but not tasteless with a hint of bacon.

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