I Can! You Can! Who Can? Iron Man!

If the magical Dr. Seuss were still around how would he view nerd-tacular (is that even a word? Of course not right?) pop culture. Well ponder no more because the artist DrFaustusau (http://drfaustusau.deviantart.com/) has apparently re imagined some famous video games and movies as wacky Dr .Seuss children books. Here are a few of my favorites especially the ones involving the Dianoga (did you know the trash monster from A New Hope was even called that?), Yertle and the Killing Joke:

NASA Claims Budget Cuts Could Cause Shitty Bruce Willis Film To Come True

 

So  NASA needs money, and you would think that an organization dedicated to exploring and understanding the depths of space, as well as protecting us from the catastrophic dangers of it (such as asteroids, meteor strikes, and solar flares) would kind of be important?  Apparently not!

 

NASA Chief Charles Bolden had this to say about the matter:

“Our estimate right now is at the present budget levels it will be 2030 before we’re able to reach the 90 percent level as prescribed by Congress. You all told us to do something, and between the administration and the Congress, the bottom line is the funding did not come…

The answer to you is, ‘if it’s coming in three weeks, pray. The reason I can’t do anything in the next three weeks is because for decades we have put it off.””

(Courtesy of The Telegraph, mainly because I couldn’t stand citing Fox News for anything, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/9943048/Nasas-advice-on-asteroid-hitting-Earth-pray.html)

So, just pray that in the next 18 years, no gigantic scary space rocks come hurtling toward us and take us the way of the dinosaurs. I mean we could call on Bruce Willis, Aerosmith and a gigantic space drill to fix the problem, but then again we don’t apparently have the fucking  budget for that shit.

 

Y’know, I’m really glad in a modern sophisticated and civilized society as our own that same sex marriage and marijuana are still illegal and organizations like NASA can’t get funding yet shows like Buckwild and Keeping Up With the Kardashians are gigantic hits.

I guess we just better hope this doesn’t come hurtling at us from space. Because we’d be fucked. And we might get good ratings!

Futile Resistance Is A Yoda Borg Tattoo?

This amazing nerdy tattoo which I can’t properly describe without a nerd brain aneurysm, was done by the very talented Tara Quinn

Check her out here:

https://www.facebook.com/TaraQuinnTattoos

Some Beat Beat Poetry

So I may have been reading a little too much Ginsberg. Just saying. But here is a small little piece of beat poetry I wrote late one night for fun. Whaddayatink?

We are love lost in a paradise never realized or never existed

We are the constant reverie reminder of ecstatic joy of the realization of the constant reminder that what we have lost can never be rediscovered

We are the commanding corpus demanding attention for the conceded trivial pursuits of a culture too obsessed with pop culture.

We are the insane ritual dancers cavorting and contorting our callous bruised frames in the same synchronized whirlwind of monotonous defeat and monotonous retreat into hardwired electronics softwired into our brains

We are the convoluted garbage people of the litter box tribe within the tin foil candy wrapper continent seeking astonishment in the crumbs left from the mouth of giants as they swallowed us whole.

We are but all gods’ imaginary children in an imaginary fable of an imaginary existence perceived to be an achieved self-entitled prairie parody of what could always have been had we not figured out what was

We are the disgruntled jolted little jaded machine elves dreaming clockwork dreams of software updates of gigabyte pleasure domes and upright uptight internal programming.

We are the lost generation without purpose seeking solace in the asylum of ignoring arrogant ignorance in the face of the god of omnipotent technological potency in the shadow of defining what we are by trees

We are the marches of watches as they watch us march on blotches of chemical dependencies that define our diversity as inadequate adversaries needing to be extinguished

We are no longer defined by the speck of our minds but by the brains of our Google, the strength of our server, and the love of our intense social networking laments.

We are no longer bound by the binds of our leather bounds but by the binds of our interwounds as we interweave the interwebs through our comfortable interheads wrapped up in our interbeds.

We are interested in interesting our intellects for the sake of intravenously interjecting information into our embedded encoded impressively expressed digital harddrives

We are pathetically lethargic, apathetically energetic and falsely apprehended by our peers for consistently living up to the realization of our fears that this might not be real after all.

We are love lost so that it may never be found and we are so ineffectively proud of our frowns that we can no longer come down from the eyespace myspace digital playground we have constructed.

We are electrical impulses traveling through electrical signals arriving at the electrical hard drive to the electrical grey matter that we are electrically signaling what we have lost forever.

We are pathetically pathetic and that is synthetically synthetic. That we are sure.

This Is How My Baby Will Eat

Until he or she (I suppose I don’t really know) gets too fat for me to lift them. At which point, I will install a crane like device not dissimilar to how the Dad searches for his children in the backyard of the Honey I Shrunk The Kids sequel.

Nerdgasm! The Podcast Sensation Episode 2: The Nerd That Was…

So, the world didn’t end after all! Hoorah! So celebrate that shit with a nerdy podcast involving  which comic books are valueable, the difficulty of trying to explain comic books to girlfriends, why everyone hates Jason Todd, why Firefly might be one of the best sci fi shows ever, The fantastic Cabin In The Woods, practical movie effects, The Hobbit, The Amazing Spider Man 2, Showing Star Trek to girlfriends and Star Trek Into Darkness, Prometheus, Blade Runner and  finally the mad movie genius that is Ridley Scott. This one’s going to be a doozie.

Alright, so here is the first episode of the brand new podcast starring myself, Freddie Heinemann and my buddy Kyle Reichert!

Episode 1: Return Of The Nerd Guy

On this episode we touch on major spoilers with the latest season of Walking Dead, drool over the works of Joss Whedon (Firefly/Serenity, Buffy, Dr. Horrible), touch briefly on the monstrosity that is Salad Fingers, lament on the Lucasfilm/Disney buyout, talk about the philosophy behind puppetering and compare the JLA to the Avengers. All in all a good nerdy hour.

 

http://freddiecomedy.com/2012/12/11/nerdgasm-the-podcast-sensation-episode-1-return-of-the-nerd-guy/nerdgasm-1

Never Has Becoming An Orphan In Crime Alley Been So Catchy!

 

So a staple in the nerd community and one of my all time favorite rappers MC Chris (I mean christ, the man did create a song for each of the Star Wars bounty hunters in The Empire Strikes Back and their ficitional vehicles) has recently released a short EP entitled Friends. Each song is like a little guessing game with each one being about a specific character in the Gotham universe without the names being given away (I’ll let you see if you can figure them out). I suggest for the love of all that is holy and Batman that you pick it up on iTunes for a mere 5 bones. The dude deserves it!